Alice X: Part 1
by Assassin's Argentine Tango
Summary: Alice, now twenty-five, never wanted to see Wonderland again after the accident that happened in her world while she was away fighting the Red Queen; however, when a new threat takes Alice's best friend she'll have to go back through the Looking Glass.
1. Act 1: Scene 1

**Character List**

Alice

Mad Hatter Jr.

Sapphira

Grey Dancer

Dark Monarch

Matrix Hatteress

Black Queen

White Queen

Dr. Stone

Duchess

Sir Ian Dottington

March Hare

Spade King

Carrie Hart

Cheshire Lion

Mad Zero

Mad Zero Deus

Bishop Franco Spade

X-Dodo

White Rabbit 3000

Caterpillar

Gloomy Firefly

Goth Alice

Negative Hatter

Tweedledee

Tweedledum

Melinda Esposito

May Seductress

April Fool

Autumn King

White Prince

The Polka Dot Boy

Skiing Crane

Aquatic Beagle

Chipper Skunk

Sexy Spade Periwinkle

Succubus/ Tammy Spade

Succubus/ Elsa Spade

Dormouse

Faithful Jerk

Reverso Adnilem

Hatteress's Mother

Hatterella

Patterned Lily

Stripped Daisy

Nesting Crow

Two-Toad

Owl of Spades

White Knight

White Princess

Black Queen's Liaison

Grey Archer

**PART 1:** Alice X

**ACT 1:** Enter the Pawns

**SCENE 1:** The Grey Garden

ARCHER: (Prodding an unconscious blonde with a sick) Hello? Wakey, wakey? Oy! Get up you lazy bugger!

CROW: (Squawking) I think she's dead!

LILY: (Smacking Crow with a bejeweled hand) Of course she's dead you nimrod! God, you'd think of all the birds the queen placed here it had to be the retarded one!

DAISY: (Twirling the ribbon: which covers her chest, rear and pelvis) Please don't tell me we have another stiff amongst us. One bitter Daffodil is enough!

ALICE: (Stirring) No… Dane! Mmm… Stop!

DAISY: (Flexing her Vein-y arms) Summon the Grey Dancer! He must see this peculiarly queer specimen… (Archer heads off) Crow please fetch a flask of water for this- this- thing! (Crow flies off towards the dismal patch of vegetables in the distance) Hello?

ALICE: (Slowly flutters her eyes open and is taken aback by the woman above her) What the fuck?! (She gets onto her knees and backs away quickly) Who are you people? Where am I?

LILY: (Approaches slowly still trying not to exacerbate the situation) Well I'm the Patterned Lily, this is my sister… well stepsister the Stripped Daisy, and this is Wonderland!

ALICE: (Looking around) This can't be Wonderland! This is too bleak, too- too grim, this is the opposite of Wonderland!

GREY DANCER: (Marches into the clearing, he is twice as tall as Alice is) So, this is the little weed that's popped up into my garden? (He grabs Alice by the cheeks) Pity! She's too pale to be a Daisy, too blue to be a Lily, too tall to be an Orchid, yet too small to be a Daffodil. Those are the only flowers that grow in my garden… maybe you're a neighboring animal or bird, only I've only seen Crows, Toads, Cranes, Skunks, Mice, Dogs, Cats, exetera (He pauses and looks at her hand which has a faint print upon it) A-ha! Ladies and Gentlemen, this here isn't your run of the mill stranger… this is the Alice of the legends. Once upon a time there was a girl who about one hundred and fifty years ago stopped the Queen of Hearts from turning Wonderland into a card game. Then fifty years later she overthrew the Red Queen before she could destroy Wonderland and turn it into a ruby-encrusted kingdom with not a lick of green to be found. Now she's returned to stop the impending war between the five feuding kingdoms as legend dictates.

ALICE: (Unsure of what to make of all of this) I- er… that was only fifteen years ago!

GREY DANCER: (Laughing uncontrollably) Hahahaha! Oh that's a good one Alice! (Alice doesn't find this humorous) You're serious? You do know for every five years in your world is equal to fifty years here.

ALICE: (She stands up) I'm sorry, I don't believe I know what you mean by "my world"? Isn't Wonderland on a tangent universal plain co-existing with Earth? Hatter told me that.

GREY DANCER: (Looks at Lily and Daisy) You hear that? Hatter's Dad has been feeding his hocus pocus on Wonderland to poor Alice here. (Lily and Daisy bust out into a fit of giggles)

ALICE: (Getting angry with this man) Who are you to mock someone on their beliefs? I have half a mind to tell Hatter and he'll rain down on you with facts to support- (The trio laughs harder) –his theory! (Alice punches the man in the crotch and he recoils)

GREY DANCER: (Grabbing her by the wrist, weezily) Hey! I won't stand for hitting. I could just turn you in to the Black Queen and have you tortured until you lose your mind.

ALICE: (Fiercely savage) I'm sorry for hitting you. Where's the Mad Hatter? I wish to see him now!

GREY DANCER: (Coyly twirling a silvery lock of hair) Haven't the foggiest! (Bending down to be at eye level with Alice) No one does. Since the Black Queen took over she sent out her assassins to kill off her predecessor's enemies. Mainly, the leaders of the resistance. The Mad Hatter and his family, the Duchess and her servant, as well as the May Seductress and her party. Hatter died over forty years ago, and now his son Mad Hatter Jr. has begun to follow in his footsteps.

ALICE: (Not showing any fear) Then will you take me to the new Hatter, please?

GREY DANCER: (Drawn up to full size again) Sorry, love! I would if I could; sadly, I haven't the slightest inkling as to his whereabouts either, but perhaps you may be able to help.

ALICE: (Looking up into his face) How?

GREY DANCER: (Looking down the row of decayed corn) The Crow's back.

CROW: (Landing, hand Alice the glass of murky liquid in the crystalline flask) Sorry, about that wait. I was talking to Archer.

ALICE: (Takes a sip modestly, but then spits it up) What the hell is this?!

CROW: (Taken aback by her rudeness) It's water!

ALICE: (Spilling the rest onto the ground, which turns the soil an unfriendly black color) This doesn't taste like water! This tastes like cat piss!

CROW: (Doubling up at Alice) Who the fuck are you to yell at me about the water? It isn't my fault this place has shit for water! And another thing-

GREY DANCER: (Holding a hand to silence the Crow) Calm yourself friend! This is Alice. I believe she may be able to help us.

ALICE: (Coldly) What makes you so sure I'll help you?

GREY DANCER: (Smiles dangerously) Because unless you help us you won't be able to get back through the Looking Glass.

ALICE: (Feeling as through she had forgotten something) Oh shit! Melinda!

DAISY: (Conversing to her stepsister) What is she going on about?

ALICE: (Frantically failing her arms) My friend Melinda, you see, was carried off by this gargantuan bug and I followed them here though the Looking Glass. I'm afraid I lost track of it because you woke up in this area some time later, so I think I hit my head or passed out or something.

LILY: (Mortified beyond belief) Did you say gargantuan bug?

ALICE: (Nodding 'yes' and getting closer to her) Do you know what that thing was?

GREY DANCER: (Grabbing Alice by her wrist as they sprint off) Unfortunately yes! It also means we're all in danger out her in the Garden. Keep up, I'll explain more in the S.U.R.F.!

ALICE: (Running as fast as she can so she doesn't trip) S.U.R.F? What's a S.U.R.F.?

GREY DANCER, LILY, DAISY, CROW, and ALICE jump into what seems to be a giant anthill in the ground.

ALICE: (Landing onto solid ground) Ugh! (She spits out some dirt) Yuck! (She looks around and theirs a lot of technology around her) Where are we?

CARRIE: (Emerging from a shadowy corner) Why you're at S.U.R.F Alice.

ALICE: (Looking at Carrie in confusion, she didn't seem older than she did during their first encounter in Wonderland) Carrie? (She gets up and approaches her old friend) Carrie… you haven't aged a day how?

CARRIE: (Beaming brightly) Well after you stopped my mother the White Queen was put back in charge and since I was no longer needed I finished my time-traveling cloak. I traveled across the years in mere weeks. I stopped just before the whole White and Red fiasco took place. I helped you, Hatter, Hare, and the rest of the resistance. Shortly after the skirmish I went even further and spent a week in territory ruled by the White Queen and then left for this year and I found my home needed me once more, so I called upon my duties as a princess to assist my homeland in anyway. Unfortunately, my cloak doesn't work anymore, so I couldn't just up and leave to see if it was just a short-lived era of the Black Queen in charge. I am now one of the ten heads of the resistance to overthrow the Black Queen. The other nine being the Grey Dancer behind you, (Alice turns to see the Grey Dancer is now her height) the May Seductress, Mad Hatter Jr., Duchess, the Cheshire Lion, the White Queen, Caterpillar, the Faithful Jerk and Sir Ian Dottington. We are each in control of an area that hasn't been taken over by the Black Queen. I was in charge of the Serpentine Wilds… (She pauses) until the Black Queen destroyed it all. I am the only survivor of what is now christened as the Massacre of the Black Serpents.

ALICE: (Putting her hand on her shoulder comfortingly) You can't blame yourself…

CARRIE: (She holds back tears) It's just that cruel bitch didn't give a damn how many lives she destroyed. (She bites her lower lip)

GREY DANCER: (Walking over towards them) You see Alice, since the Black Queen took over we've been forced onto hiding, lest we become her next victims.

LILY: (Scurrying besides Carrie and whispering into her ear) _The Dark Monarch is back from her world…_

CARRIE: (Jumps back in alarm) This is horrible! We- we have to warn the others, but communications are still down…

ALICE: (Beleaguered quite a bit) I'm sorry warn who about what?

CARRIE: (Holding Alice by the shoulders) Alice! I need to know if you saw the Dark Monarch?

ALICE: Excuse me? The Dark what?

CARRIE: (Shaking her) The Dark Monarch! The Queen's right hand assassin!

ALICE: (She gasps in fright) The thing that took Melinda?

CARRIE: (Ceases shaking her) Who?

ALICE: (Looking down) My friend- Melinda Esposito…

DAISY: (Skirting about the computers) It is to fried for even me to fix! Someone needs to deliver the message by mouth!

CARRIE: (Releasing Alice) I'll do it!

ALICE: (Grabbing her hand) I'm coming too!

GREY DANCER: You two'll need protection, it's not safe for two huge anarchists to waltz around Wonderland in the best of times. I'll go too!

LILY: (Moving next to Crow) Go to Duchess first! She's closest and will have more manpower in her area.

CARRIE: (Putting her hands on her hips) It's settled then! Tomorrow morning at dawn we shall head out for the Duchess's house!


	2. Act 1: Scene 2

**Character List**

Alice

Mad Hatter Jr.

Sapphira

Grey Dancer

Dark Monarch

Matrix Hatteress

Black Queen

White Queen

Dr. Stone

Duchess

Sir Ian Dottington

March Hare

Spade King

Carrie Hart

Cheshire Lion

Mad Zero

Mad Zero Deus

Bishop Franco Spade

X-Dodo

White Rabbit 3000

Caterpillar

Gloomy Firefly

Goth Alice

Negative Hatter

Tweedledee

Tweedledum

Melinda Esposito

May Seductress

April Fool

Autumn King

White Prince

The Polka Dot Boy

Skiing Crane

Aquatic Beagle

Chipper Skunk

Sexy Spade Periwinkle

Succubus/ Tammy Spade

Succubus/ Elsa Spade

Dormouse

Faithful Jerk

Reverso Adnilem

Hatteress's Mother

Hatterella

Patterned Lily

Stripped Daisy

Nesting Crow

Two-Toad

Owl of Spades

White Knight

White Princess

Black Queen's Liaison

Grey Archer

**PART 1:** Alice X

**ACT 1:** Enter the Pawns

**SCENE 2:** The Jabberwocky's lair

The Soundproof barrier, which perforated the garden from the forest, actually appeared like a viscous wall. It peeked Alice's child-like sense of wonder. She touched the bubble-like force field causing it to create a miniscule tremor that reverberated through the barrier.

DANCER: (He pokes the barrier himself) Amazing isn't it? It's the Barrier of the Tumtum's forest

ALICE: (She looks over to him) I'm afraid I don't understand.

DAISY: (She has a small harp in her grasp) Carrie if you would.

CARRIE: (How has a sack upon her belt) Have you heard of the Jabberwocky?

ALICE: The what?

CARRIE: Let me explain! (Daisy begins to play an ominous tune on her harp) This is the Jabberwocky's song… (She begins to sing)

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves  
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:  
All mimsy were the borogoves,  
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwocky, my son!  
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!  
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun  
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:  
Long time the manxome foe he sought --  
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,  
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,  
The Jabberwocky, with eyes of flame,  
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,  
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through  
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!  
He left it dead, and with its head  
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwocky?  
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!  
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'  
He chortled in his joy.

_`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves  
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;  
All mimsy were the borogoves,  
And the mome raths outgrabe._

CARRIE: (As Daisy finishes) The Jabberwocky lives in that forest. After you defeated the Red Queen the heir to the kingdom of Red defeated her pet Jabberwocky, and returned a hero. Yet legend and the Magi predict that the Jabberwocky killed the heir and took upon his form because shortly after the heir took place he disappeared mysteriously. A year later the Black Queen took control and found a Jabberwocky were the heir was last seen.

ALICE: (She opens her mouth to speak realizing after a moment it logically made sense) Well what does that have to do with the current situation?

DANCER: The Jabberwocky is fabled to have been living in the Tumtum's forest.

ALICE: (She looks beyond the barrier) Why are all the trees boughs facing due southwest?

DAISY: (Going next to Alice) The Tumtum trees are really of a peculiar variety they have properties of Stigglewurt causing them to point to the nearest source of Bandersnatch.

ALICE: (Turning around so they're face to face) Which is?

DAISY: (Brightly unaware of Alice's slimming patience) A Stroublebejan.

ALICE: (Nearly to the point of exploding) What?

DANCER: (Looking towards the sky) We're wasting time we need to get to the Duchess by nightfall. Daisy, thank you for seeing us off. When we return you'll know what to do.

DAISY: Yes sir! (She scurries off into the decaying patch of eggplants to the right)

ALICE: (Touching the vapor wall) So how do we get through?

CARRIE: (She falls forward through the bubble)

ALICE: (Afraid because she hasn't appeared on the other side of the clear liquid barrier) Where'd she go?

DANCER: (Laughing in remembrance) Oh, silly me! I've forgotten it's misleading.

ALICE: (Turning) Misleading?

DANCER: Yes. Alright, take my hand… (Alice is somewhat skeptical) Do you trust me?

ALICE: (She gazes intently into his silver eyes) Somehow, yes… (She takes his hand gingerly)

DANCER: (Grips her hand tightly) Alright, on the count of three we jump forward and dive! One… Two…

ALICE: (Scared at this madman's request because as far as she can tell if they were to dive they'd surely fail) Dive?!

DANCER: THREE!! (He jumps having to pull Alice along as the strangest sensation fluttered throughout her entire body)

It felt like they were going forward instead of down causing her the tingliest feeling in her spine as if someone stretched her out long ways and replaced her muscles with silk bands. In the next moment they tumbled through into a peculiar clearing.

CARRIE: (Assisting them off their backs) So I bet you didn't fancy that one bit.

ALICE: (Turning and the vapor veil looked, as it should have if they simply walked through it) I don't understand! We should've just walked through by physical standards! That seriously defies the Theory of Gravity!

DANCER: Alice, in Wonderland anything is possible as for that…that was impossible causing it's probability to become rational defined by a serious look on the Theory of Warp Vacuum Suction Void.

ALICE: (To confused for words) Okay! So how do we get to the Duchess's house?

CARRIE: Who do we ask for help when we don't know which way to go?

ALICE: (Laughing) The Map?

CARRIE: (Not finding the reference amusing nor even understanding it) No… I was going to say the Galoofa Vines… (She approaches a cluster of vines and whispers something to it in a foreign language of some sort) Okay, (In a speedy voice) Follow-the-Mackllendobber-until-you've-reached-the-Vespallstic-turn-left-and-follow-the-Greamble-River-six-miles-then-before-the-waterfall-make-a-right-and-ask-the-Two-Toad! (She shakes a vine as if a hand) Thank you! (To Alice and Dancer who are befuddled) Come on!

After miraculously following the directions without a hitch they arrived at the waterfall and unfortunately the vines lied and the Two-Toad was resting on a rock across the river.

ALICE: (Feeling depressed) Even if we could yell to him the waterfall would just drown out our voices.

DANCER: (Looking around) If we can find large enough sticks we can pole-vault across!

A malevolent screech is heard from behind them. It seems to be emanating from a nearby cave. Out of the opaque blackness emerged a creature dragon-like except for its head. Its head was that of a scorpion!

ALICE: (Almost afraid to speak) What is that thing!?

CARRIE: (Backing up) That's the Jabberwocky!

The Jabberwocky screeched menacingly at them mockingly. Then without warning it charged. Carrie jumped out of the way.

DANCER: (Seeing Alice was staying stock-still) Look out! (He jumped so he could push her out of harms way)

ALICE: (Nervously blushing) Hey!

DANCER: (Getting red) Hey! We should get up.

ALICE: Yes, we should!

CARRIE: (Getting on one knee and pulling a small pellet from her the sack on her belt) Hey ugly! (The Jabberwocky cocks its head towards her) Eat lead, bitch! (She throws the pellet, which then exploded sending bullet-like shrapnel into its side. Once it made contact with it's skin it burned holes into its scaly hide)

DANCER: (Running over to Carrie with Alice at his heels) I suppose that you don't have a raft in there or something?

CARRIE: (Fumbles through the tiny bag then pulls from it a small miniature of a pedal-boat) Well I haven't tested this yet, but- (She tosses it into the river as the Jabberwocky gets back up)

The small miniature once it came in contact with the water grew twenty times is diminutive size.

DANCER: (To the girls) Get in! (The two girls climb into the pedal-boat whilst the Dancer proceeds into running in circles around the Jabberwocky with a cord he wraps around its slender legs) Get down you ugly brute! (He pulls on the cord and the beast plummets to the ground in an oafish way. He then runs over to the pedal-boat and the three proceed in traveling across the river and away from the Jabberwocky)

ALICE: (Looking back seeing its wings for the first time) Can't it fly?

CARRIE: Thankfully, no! The weight of its head is too much for it to carry.

As the boat reaches the shore they all emerge still scared out of their wits. They manage to reach the Two-Toad without any further delay as the Jabberwocky yelps in distress across the river.

CARRIE: (Prodding the Two-Toad with her finger) Hey! Get up you lazy bugger!

TWO-TOAD: (Falling off it's rock) Excuse me!

CARRIE: (Peering over the rock to look at the toad) We're looking for the Duchess's house do you know were it is?

TWO-TOAD: I-

DUCHESS: (Provocatively strutting down the hill towards them in a sparkling off-crimson knee high skort with matching tube top and sleeves) Grey Dancer. It's been too long! (She hugs the Dancer suggestively making Alice feel sick) You must be Carrie Hart? (She shakes her hand) I'm so sorry to hear about the Serpentine… (She embraces her affectionately) It must be difficult?

CARRIE: (Breaking away uncomfortably) It is…?

DANCER: (Grabbing Alice by the hand to bring her closer) Duchess this is Alice.

DUCHESS: (She shakes her hand) I just love your outfit the black belly jacket on the cerulean dress is so… so… post-modern!

ALICE: (Smiling) That's what I was going for- thank you.

DUCHESS: Not at all. (She glances across the river and sees the incapacitated Jabberwocky) I was wondering what that shrill noise was! (She turns around) Come, this is no place to have a reunion, we shall continue talking at my château!

The Duchess walks uphill once more and the trio followed her not quite to sure what to make of her.


End file.
